Hilang Suara

Sebelum ini, sewaktu minggu ulangkaji dan peperiksaan sedang merenggut jiwa, fantas-fantasi novel dalam rongga kepala bukan main lagi menggelegak. Ingin tulis ini, ingin tulis itu.

Arakian, cuti ini, seperti kosong. Hilang semua yang berada dalam rongga kepala untuk dikaryakan ke atas kertas.

Hilang suara.

Living

How do you live with the need to prove something to everyone? It's hard, I tell you. Very hard.

Sometimes, you just want to sit down, have a sip of tea, and be your own self.

I ought to.

Impian. Semoga.

Walaupun aku anak sulung dalam keluarga dan tahun ini mencecah angka 21, aku masih rasa yang aku belum matang dari segi menjalankan tanggungjawab.

Entahlah. Setiap kali cuti dan balik rumah aku duduk depan laptop dan depan TV, tak buat apa-apa sangat.

Oleh sebab itu aku mengambil keputusan untuk ambil semester pendek bulan Julai nanti. Maksudnya aku cuma akan balik rumah waktu Eid-ul-Fitri.

Kemungkinan sehinggalah aku bergraduasi.

Semester depan, kemudiannya, semester pendek, dan cuti Eid. Selesai itu pula tahun akhir pengajian ijazah sarjanamuda. Pastinya lagi sibuk dengan projek akhir tahun yang rasanya cuti sebulan antara semester aku tak balik punya. Lepas tu, habis semester, dan Latihan Industri pula.

Entah berapa lama aku tak akan balik rumah.

Aku ingin balik rumah dengan pencapaian yang membanggakan, dengan kematangan yang menyenangkan. Aku nak balik nanti, aku sudah ada bisnes yang baik, sudah ada buku-buku yang sudah terbit, sudah ada banyak pencapaian.

Impian. Semoga.

Bangsa Superior?

Menganggap diri sendiri superior orang kata riak. Menganggap bangsa sendiri superior pula tak riak? Kahkahkah.

Selagi sesuatu itu tidak tertulis dalam al-Quran sebagai superior, mana mungkin aku akan percaya. Sebab itu masyarakat Arab yang menyangka bangsa mereka superior juga telah dibuktikan sebaliknya.

Oleh itu, apa hak kau nak fikir bangsa kau superior berbanding bangsa orang lain? Kahkahkah.

Hipokrit.

Politik Buta

Jika kebanyakan manusia kata cinta itu buta, aku berani katakan yang politik itu lagi buta. Ya, buta jika kau biarkan fantatisme bersenggama dengan minda waras kau.

Jika orang kata cinta itu lebih luas daripada skop "couple" (sudah tentu), maka politik itu lebih luas daripada skop fanatisme dan partisan semata-mata kerana politik adalah bidang yang berkenaan dengan pentadbiran negara dan rakyat, juga dalam pengurusan hubungan negara sendiri dan negara luar.

Oleh itu, politik tidak bersifat muktamad. Maksudnya, setiap pihak pasti ada kekurangan dan kesalahan. Bahkan, Saidina Umar r.a. dahulu, seorang khalifah, pun pernah ditegur oleh rakyatnya dan mengakui kekurangan beliau.

Ini bukti bahawa selain daripada Rasulullah SAW, tidak ada politik yang mampu bebas daripada silap.

Sayangnya, sama ada kerajaan mahupun pembangkang mempunyai golongan "macai" tersendiri. Ah, aku bukannya suka perkataan "macai", aku rasa ibarat kurang ajar dan biadap. Tapi, definisi aku untuk "macai" sekarang adalah mereka yang membutakan mata akibat politik partisan yang bersifat fanatik semata-mata.

Ada yang mengatakan seseorang ini "macai kerajaan" tanpa menyedari hakikat diri sendiri adalah "macai pembangkang". Begitu juga sebaliknya. Manusia yang bersifat hipokrit begini yang membutakan politik, dan menyempitkan ideologi manusia lain.

Kasihan.

Tahulah kalian semua bahawa setiap pihak itu ada kekurangannya dan kekurangan tersebut bukan tiket untuk menjadi "macai" dan menghina pihak lain sewenang-wenangnya. Tidak kiralah kau UMNO yang merasakan bangsa kau superior, atau PAS yang merasakan agama kau lebih power daripada Saidina Umar r.a.

Hakikatnya kita semua sedang mencari kebenaran, dan kebenaran itu tidak buta, politik itu juga tidak buta, bahkan cinta juga tidak buta.

Buta itu apabila kau biarkan fanatisme bersenggama dengan minda waras kau.

On Free Education

Since the Bawani issue rose up, the issue of free education coming from her inquiry in the forum rose up as well.

When people have already putting "facts" and "arguments" around on the social media, I guess I'll try to put a bit of my knowledge in it as well.

This is a very basic and classic debate. In principle, it's about Capitalism versus Socialism. If you don't feel like it is, and think I'm trying to red herring the topic, be my guess and read up on capitalism and socialism and prove to me I'm wrong.

There are many aspects of socialist policies when it comes to governing a country, one of it is free education. It's very clear especially in Nordic countries such as Sweden where education is free, pension is very high, and unemployed citizens still gets benefits from the government.

Sounds tempting, right?

In this type of classic debate, it's hard to strike a balance. Some argue that people will be complacent, while others argue that people will be better off since more people can get educated. Let's analyze deeper.

The Nordic countries have a very good economy. They have a fairly high GDP but sadly a very high unemployment rate, oh, not to mention higher tax rate than other countries.

Now, let's say we want to emulate this situation in Malaysia where many people want to adopt such policies:

1. Taxation rates must be increased because we can't just rely on pure assumption that our country have enough financial capability, especially when we know that we have pretty high debt. Surely, I don't think Malaysians like the idea of paying higher taxes.

2. Students might become complacent -- there's a high probability for it. We have seen the quality of our graduates declining due to being too complacent. "Hey, I'm in the university, I might as well enjoy myself etc." Free education will cause a higher level of complacency.

The thing is, there are a lot of things to consider. I'm not going against socialism, nor am I antagonizing socialist policies, but what I'm trying to say is we need to strike a balance. A pure capitalist or a pure socialist nation will not move forward.

Giving free education to everyone including people who don't want to study is a waste of money. Why not give it only to people who really works hard to study? Seriously, I'm studying in a university and I see how people waste resources.

Think clearly and don't politicize this issue.

#KL112

Rasanya aku perlu periksa semula definisi "kebangkitan", dan definisi "rakyat" dalam mana-mana kamus.

Itu saja.

On Politics

I'm not a political science student, nor am I a social science student.

That's why some people think I'm not credible when it comes to the topic of Malaysian politics. One thing for sure, I've been debating for quite a long time and I can tell you I know political topics even on Zimbabwe and Congo. I'm not tooting my own horn, but it's true.

All I can say is, it is sad to see students who are used by political parties in such petty partisan politics.

I'm not saying I'm right nor are they wrong; I'm not saying I'm a saint and I know everything -- NO. It's just I don't want people to be fooled. Read, people, read.

I have books on Political Philosophy, Socialism, and many more on my shelf. Do knock at my door if you want me to lend you one.

Minggu Ulangkaji

Kebanyakan masa minggu ulangkaji diluangkan bersama Handrie. Padahal seorang FEP, seorang lagi FST. Tapi ulangkaji sama, dengan haluan sendiri-sendiri.

Bangun pagi usai solat (aku saja tentunya) dan segalanya, berjalan kaki sekitar UKM. Kadangkala ke stadium dan ke padang kemudiannya ke DECTAR sebelum bersarapan di KUO.

Selepas itu, kembalilah aku ke KIY untuk mandi dan bersiap.

Turun semula ke KUO selesai itu untuk sambung mengulangkaji. Kalau lapar, pergi makan tengahari bersama, sambil menimbal semula sama ada patut makan nasi atau mi segera.

Petang pula kadangkala jalan kaki lagi sekitar UKM, kadangkala rehat dalam bilik sambil baca-baca nota. Paling tidak bergelak ketawa. Kemudiannya aku kembali ke KIY lagi untuk mandi dan bersiap untuk maghrib.

Usai maghrib kembali ke KUO, Isya' di sana, makan di sana, dan sambung ulangkaji.

Ya, begitulah minggu ulangkaji bersama Handrie.

2013 Progress

It's exciting when you can see a clear path ahead of you in some of the fields you want to pursue in life. At the same time, it is also important to not get caught in the moment and cloud your rational calculus when making decisions.

I am planning on starting a business, latest in February. I've been having the idea for this business even before this semester started. I've been researching this idea, abandoned it, researching again, abandoned it again, but the idea still comes up to me -- it feels like the idea wants to be materialised.

When it comes to my writing dream, it is a bit laid back since I'm still trying to find my "voice" and style of writing. Nonetheless, I can already see a clear path, and the necessary smaller steps to take to eventually walk through that path.

May Allah gives me the strength and the ability to walk this path towards him.

Self-Reflection

A self-reflection moment this morning made me realise that I didn't abandon my innate feelings, rather I tried to push them aside like a pile of dirty laundry. Then, these "dirty laundry" built up in no time.

That was what I thought being great is all about -- able to generate and project positive energy, by pushing aside the negativity under the rug. Apparently, and obviously, it is not.

Great people embrace their humanly negativity, their feelings, their emotions, and such. Not linger, but embrace.

I for one, either ignore those negativity or simply linger in it for far too long. Well, I'll try to do my best in being better when facing obstacles in front of me by embracing everything.

I'm looking forward to face all my exam papers; because after that I'll be going home after quite a while. January and February has always been blue for me, for many years. This time around, even if it is blue or grey, I'll embrace it.

Then, the next semester will come around. A planned business will be started with my best friend, and I'm excited to get a pet (or a pair of). It's more than two years since I've been wanting pets.

Until then, may Allah gives me what is best for me. Insya-Allah.

Menjadi Manusia

Menjadi manusia itu perlu berhubung dengan perasaan -- gembira, sedih, dan segala-galanya.

Kadangkala bukan aku lupa menjadi manusia. Tapi, lagi suka menjunjung senyuman saja, berbekalkan lawak hambar.

Menjadi manusia itu penat, tapi sebenarnya indah... aku lupa.

Sebenarnya indah.

Sunlight and Sonnet

If I could write on sunlight,
I'll write a poem about love
A sonnet. A miracle.

On Evolution

I believe in evolution, but I'm not disregarding creationism. Many Muslim scholars share this same perspective.

But I don't carry on the idea of chance and natural selection as proposed by Charles Darwin. (Some of you might not know the exact hypotheses and theory of Darwinian evolution and just throws some tantrum of absolute nonsense. So, before you embarrass yourselves, please read.)

I will, one day, prove to the world, by the help of Allah and the knowledge from the Quran, that evolution and creationism go hand in hand.

Hence, I need to study now.

An Anti-Thesis: On Laws and Morality

I ought to write this piece due to a calling from my heart after quite a number of Facebook posts and articles going around the internet talking about how a reformation of the government is needed to achieve a new reformation of the law and legislation.

Why do they want such change? Easy. A supposedly "easy" way out to hinder people from doing immoral acts deviating from religions and morality.

The premise of such arguments coming from those people are easy: a new government with a better law, will create better policy, and in time will produce higher morality among the people.

Well, today I'm going to argue and rebut that premise. Do understand I am NOT arguing the idea that a change of government is necessary, NOR am I arguing that a better law is available, or that the current legislation is perfect.

I only want to argue that MORALITY does not come from the LAW. Two arguments:

1) Laws and legislation might be a factor, but not a major contributor of morality.

During the era of early Islam, when Madinah was still Yathrib, our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW's strategy to build a strong ummah is not to overthrow the wicked leaders of Makkah. Instead, he build strong characters and aqeedah of the Muslims.

You might argue that later on, the Muslims of that time took over Makkah. Yes. But do be reminded that during the invasion of Makkah, the aqeedah and morality of Muslims at that time was very strong and pure. Hence, the invasion or the re-opening of the beautiful city of Makkah was not to reinforce the aqeedah of the people, but to stop the oppression by the wicked leaders.

Does oppression still occurs today? Some might say yes, some might say no. But let me ask you this, is the immorality and the wickedness of the people living here today, is due to the leaders and the law? Or is it because people themselves are not taught by their parents and teachers on the beauty of Islam?

The Muslims during the time of Prophet Muhammad SAW who lived under wicked rulings of the Quraisy leaders before the Hijrah had strong aqeedah and morality, even if the law and legislation were worse than today. Can you see the link?

2) Morality comes internally, not externally.

"Swords can bend heads, but not hearts." -- anonymous.

Swords, and other external factors might force a person to obey the law, or do something which is far from their internal ideologies. Yet, their hearts will stay the same without proper education and exposure. Still does not believe me?

Here's an interesting fact: Pakistan's highest search on porn materials from Google was child rape, camel sex, horse sex, and etc. This is a country which, by their own accord, applies a very strict Islamic legislation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the shariah law is weak. It's the best source of law in this world. It's from Allah, the Almighty, the Creator.

What I'm saying here is, even with the best law, morality and goodness of an individual comes from within, not from that law. The law might affect the people in some way, but not in a thorough way.

Let's give a parallel here: if you give the best racing car -- a Ferrari for example -- with the best race track, the best equipment, to a person who does not know how to drive and race, nor the desire, then it is still pretty useless.

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Conclusion

People need to stop blaming everything on the government and the leaders (I'm not saying they did not do wrong, I'm just saying don't blame EVERYTHING), and realize that to produce a nation of muttaqi is not as easy as just changing the government and the leaders.

Pasal UK

Kalau aku dapat bergraduasi dengan ijazah kelas pertama aku mungkin akan sambung terus ke PhD di United Kingdom. Lebih tepat lagi, aku nak ke Oxford -- disebabkan Harvard di US, maka tukar niat untuk ke Oxford.

Apabila ada manusia-manusia yang bertanya kenapa aku ingin ambil PhD, aku biasa jawab, "saja."

Dan kau ingat mereka percaya? Heh.

Tapi, PhD macam mencabar. Bukan ego dengan diri sendiri, bukan riak, aku tak cakap senang, aku cakap mencabar -- dan mencabar itu seronok, walaupun aku tak suka bidang perubatan yang dikatakan mencabar, bidang genetik yang mencabar ini lagi seronok.

United Kingdom, aku datang.